The Embarrassment List II

(Or more likely a random list of irrelevant revelations.)

1. I’ve never been intoxicated.

Frankly, I don’t really know why. The idea of being drunk and blurring my thoughts just never really appealed to me. I like to be able to reflect on my actions and ideas. Besides, I’m confused enough even sober.

2. I’m unbelievably childish.

I’m not saying there’s something bad about being childish – of course not, I admire people with curious eyes and a yearning for new experiences. That is wonderful and something worth treasuring. Alas, the way I’m childish is simply ridiculous. I constantly entertain ideas about things and dreams that most definitely are out of my reach. I once read – alas I cannot remember whose aphorism it was – that it is not death itself we fear but being forgotten. As cheesy (or foolish) as it is, I find that very much true. The odds are that the only permanent thing I have to offer is my ecological footprint which makes me sad since I’m a sentimental nature lover.

3. I wallow in (non-reality-based) nostalgia

I’m not sure whether ‘nostalgia’ counts as a mood, but if it does I’m its embodiment. The funny thing is that the things I miss the most are ones I’ve never seen or experienced: ages I haven’t lived through, places I’ve never seen – or my favourite, things that never even existed in the first place but were devised by a clever mind. I’ve noticed the feeling is strongly connected to places, in my case especially Scotland. Those mountains in Braemar…

4. I cannot sleep if there is someone in my apartment.

I just can’t. I lie in my bed eyes open and think: ‘This is freaking weird, there’s someone in the next room.’

5. I’m afraid to walk at night…

… unless I’m far away from cities somewhere in the middle of nowhere in a place that doesn’t even have a name.

6. I’m quite ambitious…

… but that doesn’t (and most likely won’t) serve me in any way. It only ensures that I’ll have plenty of opportunities to be very disappointed in the future. Most people can use their ambitions and actually make something of their lives. Do you belong to that blessed group? I applaud you.

(Don't ask why I posted random jellyfishes here. I took these pictures in Fraserburgh a few years ago.)

7. I had to add one more…

…because I didn’t want to end this list with an even number. That's embarrassing as such.