The Two Trees

Christmas tree is all about light, they say. I must say I agree; I’m not a big fan of overdone, glitter-and-elf-faces-all-over -type decorations but I do love the lights. My perspective, however, is slightly different – in my opinion trees are not light-bearers only but also producers of it. Does anyone sense a Tolkien-leap coming? Yes, I know I’m very predictable.

Laurelin and Telperion. The Two Trees of Valinor, light-makers, followers of the Lamps, predecessors of Sun and Moon. It was the dew of Telperion, the silver tree, that Varda used to create stars that once were so beloved by the Eldar. The myth of the Trees in Tolkien’s legendarium has always been one of my favourites and I find it remarkably fascinating. It is a story of great beauty but also very sad: it tells how the fairest and most treasured things on earth were destroyed, and how their light vanished beyond recall and never again was seen in its full glory if not in the Silmarils of Fëanor. The light of the Trees was drunk by Ungoliant the Gloomweaver, mother of all spiders, whose presence was darkness itself.

Picture: Ralph Damiani, http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Category:Images_by_Ralph_Damiani

Since I love (or nearly worship) stars I find the silvery flowers of Telperion even fairer than the golden fruits of Laurelin. But both Trees are dear to me and somehow I find them (and their story) unbelievably inspiring. It is not seldom that I find myself indulging in stories about things that are lost or perished: somehow I believe that utter beauty and goodness are always to be beyond our reach, brought to existence in words but not in life. Some may say it’s a sad thought. I find it comforting: even in the fictional universe of Arda ultimate fairness is unreachable.

Tomorrow it’s time to decorate a beautiful spruce (I have to admit that I always feel somehow bad cutting them down). I must say I rather enjoy it – but still my number one tree will always be Telperion.

Winter solstice

You know it's dark when there is no light to cast shadows. Winter solstice took place on 22.12. and we were able to enjoy twilight at daytime for several hours. From tomorrow on the bright hours will slowly grow longer again.

Silence

Silence.

Oh how I love it. One doesn’t even notice all the noises when surrounded by them all the time. The same goes for lights as well; again I got so used to the town’s light pollution I nearly wept last night, seeing the sky clearly after such a long time. Gloomy or not, I love polar nights. And it’s finally cold again. Cold is good (not when it comes to vehicles, of course, poor old car).

P.S. I took our (‘our’ meaning my parents’ to be exact) cat to the vet today. I came back alone. What a shitty way to start a holiday.

The Embarrassment List

I most definitely should not be writing this but I think I’ll do it anyway. In Finland losing one’s dignity is practically criminalized or at least strongly disapproved. In fact I’m not particularly bothered with that, shame and humiliation are much more effective when coming from inside rather than outside. However, lately I’ve been learning to blurt embarrassing things just so that I could see it’s not necessarily the end of the world. (It did not work, just so you know.)

However, here’s a little list about things I find more or less embarrassing.

1) I talk to myself all the time…

Well, not when there are others present. Otherwise I’m babbling all the time. I can spend a long time learning completely useless things by heart and reciting them for no good reason. That includes poems, monologues and paragraphs from my favourite books. And then there is of course the nonsense talk I also daily engage in. The talking itself isn’t the thing I find embarrassing: rather it’s the fact that I’m incapable of finding anything more substantial to do.

2) … even though I hate my voice

I hate talking in public, mostly because of my voice. Poor people.

3) I’ve never been in a relationship

That’s right. I’ve never been romantically involved with anyone. Why? I’m not the kind of person others find interesting. I’m not witty or attractive and my level of awkwardness is off the charts. Point 1 might also have something to do with this. I find weird things interesting (including inspiring people that most likely have been dead for decades if not centuries [and then there are the fictional ones that have never even been alive, of course]). Perhaps this is a good thing: there is a chance I could never love a man as much as I love, well, for instance, The Lord of the Rings (note: the book, not Sauron).

4) My lack of mathematical skills would be enough to disgrace all mankind.

This is something I truly regret. I’ve always been incredibly bad at mathematics, or more likely anything that is somehow based on mathematical structures or ideas. No, no, no, no. Just can’t. Been there, tried that. For eleven years.

5) I’m awfully bad with public transportation.

“How the hell did I end up here?” As weird as it may be, that doesn’t apply to airports. Flying to Svalbard went easily with the connection flights and all that (I rather like airports). Problems only arose after landing. There were two buses leaving from the airport and I took the wrong one. Luckily the kind driver told me about this and I managed to change just in time.

Thank God I love driving.

I might continue this list at some point. There is so much more...