Ash and flow

Yesterday we (’we’ being my mother, my aunt and I) spent the entire day cleaning up the ruins of our summer house. Basically that meant sifting through a huge pile of coal and ash trying to separate all the metal, combustible waste and asbestos (it was an old house, thus the asbestos). In some very odd way I rather enjoyed the work; the weather was nice, the lake was beautiful and I didn’t even mind all the ash eating into my skin, clothes and lungs.  However, the best part of the day followed after the scouring. (Yes, I’m using the word ’scour’ intentionally.)

Swimming. That was the one thing that really made my day and actually was the very best thing about the whole summer thus far. Yesterday was the first time I’ve been to the lake this year and despite the sentimental undertone I swear there is no other lake like that one. There is something deeply soothing and enchanting about that place and it always gives me an extraordinary feeling I’ve never felt in any other place. I’m not really capable of explaining how I feel when rowing or swimming in that lake or just sitting on the rocks and looking over the water. It’s a weird mixture of happiness, tranquility, energy, wistfulness and something I have no word for.

I reached that feeling again yesterday evening as I was floating with my eyes closed and arms stretched, just listening to the water. All of a sudden I felt as if there were no thoughts left in my head, something that is really alien to me. I was either perfectly aware or not aware at all. (Even though the logical impossibility of that slightly annoys me; sometimes I have odd feelings that are complete opposites and yet precisely similar at the same time, I have no idea how to make that understandable. It sort of feels like having two things so far from each other that they actually start to seem close. I don’t know, I guess I’m not making any sense – and perhaps it’s not even necessary to.)

I think I'll add some pictures later once I manage to get them out of my camera (which not playing nicely with the computer at the moment).